Taking the twins out of the house is a challenge to say the least. We handle getting out just fine, it’s the other people who make it a challenge. Here is how we get out of the house:
We pack a diaper bag (we combine Noah and the twins for ease). We feed and change the twins. We load them into their car seats (which Noah will now drag through the house to us when he wants to go somewhere). We get Noah’s shoes and coat on. I take the diaper bag and Noah to the car, Jay brings the babies. Off we go!
If we are alone… and by we I mean ME… I do everything above until I take Noah to the car. I generally take the diaper bag, my purse and a soda to the car. Go back in, get Noah and strap him into the car. Go back in and get Paige and strap her into the car. Go back in and get Carter and strap him into the car… then realize I forgot to lock the door and go back yet again to take care of that! I’ve only had to do this twice, but let me tell you by time I’m done I’m out of breath and sweating!
So, we have a system for leaving our house… but it takes about an hour with feeding the babies. We finally get to where we are going… lets use Wal-Mart as an example because when you have three children you find you have to go there a LOT! We get to Wal-Mart, get the stroller out, load the twins, get a cart, put Noah in it and head for the store. Suddenly it’s like WOW we are CELEBRITIES! A trip that should take about 15 minutes takes us at least an hour because we are stopped every three feet so someone can look at the babies or ask us questions! We can’t get anything done! I’m usually the more friendly one and I’ll thank people who make nice comments, but it’s getting to the point where we have to keep moving and say thank you over our shoulders just so we can get the milk home before it expires! We hate to be rude, but we have dinner to prepare, kids to feed, showers to take, laundry to fold and bottles to wash. Poor Nana (my mom) usually doesn’t leave before 9pm if she comes over because there is so much to do!
This leads me into my next entertaining insight of being a parent of twins… and this is after only a few weeks!
Crazy things that are asked or said to parents of twins…(most of these apply to strangers and not family and friends):
1. Are they twins? No we adopted one and I got pregnant at the same time we started the adoption! While this is COULD happen, is it all that likely?! My favorite response is: No, they were buy one get one free at the hospital!
2. Did you plan that? HELLO?! Yes, I wanted to save my insurance company some money so I planned a two for one! WHO plans twins????? Even fertility treatments can’t plan on twins!!! My normal answer is this: She was planned, he was a gift from God!
3. Are they boys or girls? … Really? One is in pink and one is in blue. Do you really think that every person in this country is metrosexual and okay with putting boys in pink?! If you see newborn babies in pink and blue there is a 99% chance that they are girl and boy. If by some reason you get it wrong and they are both boys… their parents deserve to have to explain to you that they dress their son in pink!
4. Are they identical? My response… well they were, except her penis fell off just after birth! Really, I just told you that one was a boy and one was a girl! (I’ll be the first to admit that having identical boy/girl twins is possible as new studies show, the girl will be missing a chromosome and she’ll have Turner’s Syndrome… however there are only about 10 reports of this in the United States… the possibility of you running into them at your local Wal-Mart are slim! With only 10 confirmed cases, please assume boy girl twins are NOT identical and let those 10 reported sets WOW you with their story when you run into them… not only that but how many people in the world ACTUALLY know about this study… not many… so yes, it does come across as a silly question)!
5. Which one is the evil twin? For Pete’s sake… (who ever Pete is) they are babies!!! Children are taught evil… please do not insinuate that God would give someone the devil’s spawn as their child!!! AND please do not be the one to give my children the idea that one of them is evil!
6. Are they natural? Um, no they are made out synthetic fibers, and they are full of processed meat! All children are natural. What business is it of yours if fertility drugs were involved? But, to answer your question, if natural means no fertility drugs to you, then yes, ours are natural… usually this question also comes after “do they run in your family”… that is the polite way people ask if you used fertility drugs.
7. Glad it’s you and not me! My response “me too”
8. Bet you have your hands full! My response “better full than empty”
9. When were they born? How much did they weigh? How far apart are they? Who is older?... Okay this one does not relate to family members or friends, only to the lady following me down an aisle in the grocery store and is standing over them while I’m trying to put eight twelve packs of diet cherry pepsi in my cart so that I have enough caffeine to get me through one more day! Okay look lady… I know you are interested, but ask me something better than that, are you going to remember these stats when you walk away from me? NO! So please let me continue shopping so that I can go home, and try to enjoy the last few minutes of my day with my children before I pass out!
10. Are you breastfeeding? REALLY?! SERIOUSLY?! I don’t know you and I’d prefer you not asking questions about parts of my body that I spend a lot of money to cover up! When did it become okay for a perfect stranger to talk about my breasts?! I mean really, we all know that modesty ends when you have a baby, but that STOPS when you leave the hospital!!!
11. Are they yours? This one annoyed me until two things happened… one, my mom and my husband explained to me that I did not look like a person who just delivered a set of twins, much less just had a baby (again, thank you gestational diabetes!) and two, I saw my nanny pushing my babies in their stroller!
12. They are not twins unless they are identical. REALLY?! REALLY?! I don’t even think I can comment on this one!
Believe it or not we have actually been asked all these questions, and many more (including do they have the same father.. thank you Jerry Springer for drawing “those” kinds of girls out of the woodwork for me to be compared to, I appreciate that). The attention the kids bring is amazing and it really is sometimes fun! It’s just hard when you are actually trying to finish your errands in a limited amount of time. We are not trying to be rude or insensitive, but it does get frustrating. We understand that people are curious and we DO try to answer everyone politely. But now you know what is going through the head of a parent of multiples when you ask these questions. We love our kids, we love to talk about them, we love that you are interested… but please keep it brief. If you are a waitress, please let us try to have a normal meal as a family, rather than surround our table and ask questions that we feel obligated to answer between bites!
This brings me to the number one most annoying comment people make:
· I have children (insert number here) months apart. I know exactly how you feel!
Unless you are a parent of multiples, you have no idea of the challenges that come with it. I’m sure you can relate to some of the challenges of having kids close in age, but you don’t know what it’s like to have them the same age. We hope by writing this blog to give everyone some insight on the challenges and blessings that come with having multiples, but also the challenges and blessings that come with having three children under two! I give mad props to all the other twin parents out there and sing insane praises to parents of trips and quads. God definitely has a sense of humor!
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